We spent a day at DriveTanks for Rodney’s ultimate birthday extravaganza and by all accounts our official indoctrination to Texas. It’s one of the few places in the world you can drive tanks! In preparation, Rodney superimposed his friends faces on photos from movies where people drove tanks and sent it to them as an official invite out. At the end of the day, there was about a dozen people that joined for the experience.
We worked with the facility located in Uvalde, TX (about 2 hours outside of San Antonio, TX and 3.5 hours from Austin, TX) in advance to line up what we wanted to do. They need advanced notice to make sure the vehicles, guns, and experiences are prepped for our arrival. For us, that included crushing a car, using the flame throwers, driving tanks, and shooting a bevvy of guns. They let us film whatever we wanted however we wanted, which was great so Rodney brought a drone, GoPro, and standard DSLR.
The night before I secured a luxury sprinter van with a large flatscreen TV to make the trip more enjoyable and so everyone can stay together. His cousin offered to be the driver. At 7am the morning of, we had people meet at our house where I had breakfast tacos, coffee, and donuts waiting for the group. At 8am we took off with some snacks and drinks aboard, and 3.5 hours later, right before lunch, we found ourselves at the gates of what can only be described as Texas’ own mini Serengeti. As the gates opened, beyond the turn there was a river with gazelle drinking. We followed the road and found ourselves at the lodge where they were waiting for us. There we completed paperwork and our guides joined us to take us to that portion of the property. We opted to have lunch out there so started the day with a meal. All the food was good and made to order, simple, nothing fancy.
Then, they left us to our own devices in a mini museum with guns lining the wall and room after room of tanks. We could touch, climb, and go in nearly everything.
After about a hour, the guides had our tanks prepped, the boys put in their listing of which guns they wanted to play with later in the day, and we went out to where the tanks we were going to be using were located. Each trip could have a handful of people on the tank along with whoever we noted would drive the tank and one of DriveTanks guides. We rotated drivers and passengers with some doing more than others as they saw fit (and usually paying more, too).
First up, crushing the car. If we’re going to go all that way, we can’t not crush a car. To be honest, it was a little anticlimactic because the tanks go so slow when trying to crush a car but it’s cool to say you did it. Rodney drove, he was the birthday boy.
Next up the boys drove tanks. This experience took people around a course that went through water, around trees, and bobbed in and out of where animals were roaming. On one run, another gazelle like creature bounded before our very eyes! I went on for a ride and screamed because we are sitting on top and they’re going pretty fast through the water and the dirt.
After a few laps with the various tanks, we transitioned to flame throwing. We had two takers that tried this out. It’s the same stuff they used in Vietnam which puts into perspective the difference between what we were there doing (having fun) and their intended purpose (war, death, destruction). For the flame thrower, you aim it at a building which looks very far away and yet, once it gets turned on, the flames do indeed reach that far.
We ended the day with guns. The guys shot guns from the ground, on tanks, handhelds, and at things off in the distance.
Everyone was wiped from having so much fun that it was a relatively quiet ride home where we played the videos and looked at the photos on the tv screen in the sprinter van. We had dinner delivered and people went to sleep pretty early that night.
DriveTanks is on 18,000 acres and shares a home with OxRanch (exotic game hunting). It’s the brainchild of HostGators creator. The facility has lodging, a restaurant, and all the extras you need for a luxurious weekend trip. They have a private landing strip so you can take the private jet from Austin and be there in no time.
We opted for the day experience as people in our group were flying in and out from Austin at various times.
All in all, it’s not a cheap thing to do. But, we’re DINKs (Dual Income No Kids) and this is the life we lead at our age. Most tank driving is going to cost you $1k per lap and some ammo is $5 per bullet. But, you don’t do this everyday and it’s meant to be a splurge. We had the drivers pay a larger portion of the tank lap and the people that went along for the ride sitting on the tank help offset their cost.
